Arrrrggghhhhh.
If any of you have experienced the internal panic that arrives between this question and your inevitable garbled response, then you’ve probably been in a ‘networking’ situation.
In other words, you met somebody – but ‘networking’ sounds much more artsy and groovy.
I’m quite big on expanding our vocabulary for playwriting. Often, calling something by a different name completely changes how it works in our brains. The difference between what a ‘character’ and a ‘figure’ might do on stage is quite phenomenal.
So in the interests of developing professional vocabulary, I suggest we stop ‘networking’ and start ‘caking’ instead:
ME: Hello Mr Hytner, can I have a chat about working at the National?
NICK HYTNER: So…what are you working on right now?
ME: HERE’S A SPONGE CAKE I MADE YOU!
NICK HYTNER: Would you like a commission?
I think this works so much better than previous models of interaction.
Recently, people have been giving me their cards. Cool. I like cards. They make me feel like I’m one of those shiny silken-locked businessmen from films in the eighties. I might have to buy a Rolodex or something.
If you’re anything like me though, when you hear that question – despite wanting to offer something succinct, measured and neatly packaged (like, I don’t know, a business card or something) – it somehow translates between the speaker and your ears into an unnecessarily aggressive attack on your entire being.
Something as polite as this at a conference:
ME: Oh hello, you must be… (looks at name badge) John. I like what you said earlier about theatre and that.
JOHN: Why thanks… (exchanges look at name badge) David. Where have you come from today?
ME: Bristol.
JOHN: So…what are you working on right now?
In my head, can sound more like this:
ME: I’m not approaching you because I need work. I don’t need work at all. In fact I don’t even like you. I’m so breezy about all of this. Who are you anyway?
JOHN: Christ all I want to do is eat some SODDING lunch without being ATTACKED BY PLAYWRIGHTS.
ME: Bristol.
JOHN: If you don’t explain to me RIGHT NOW why you’ve deigned yourself artistically important enough to interrupt my light bites decision-making process at the ONE point in this day we get a break, I am going to use this luke-warm samosa to STAB YOU THROUGH THE HEART.
You get the general idea.
Like it or not however, it is the standard figuring-out-who-you-are question all of us have been asked at some point.
And why not? We do DO stuff after all, and that stuff is part of what defines us as writers in the eyes of others.
It’s a completely fair question too. Rather than the hideous neurotic version above, people usually are genuinely interested in what you do, and beyond the potentially arch ‘I-know-this-situation-too-where-we-have-to-ask-these-questions’ moments, if you show confidence in sharing what you do (which should be easier if you’re genuinely committed to doing it) and remember to ask questions, it quickly stops being ‘networking’ and quickly becomes ‘people with a mutual interest nattering about what they love doing’.
BUT.
I have recently learned there is a SECRET THIRD WAY neatly avoiding the panic of:
(a) rabbiting through a list of your life’s work between the paper plates and the cake section
(b) struggling to get a business card out of your pocket when you have both hands full
(c) asking people to find you on Facebook or Twitter where as well as learning what you do, they can see photos of your baby / dog / most recent meal
You’re on it now.
It’s a WEBSITE.
(The sound of glorious angels singing fills the internet)
Now John can hear about one thing I do, with me safe and calm in the knowledge that if he’s genuinely interested, as long as he remembers my full name he can find out everything he needs to know at www.davidjohnlane.com
I bang on a lot about visibility with writers: make yourself visible through as many means as possible, keep the pathways to conversations open, publicise your work and projects when you can.
This is me practicing what I preach (via my awesome wife who finally persuaded me to let her build my website).
I am now more visible. LOOK. I’m only on the interweb and that.
So…this is what I’m working on right now. It’s all here.
Enjoy having a look around.